Top 5 Reasons You Stay Single

I was talking with a guy last night about being single.  He said he hates being single.  I said I don't prefer it because I am actually really good at being in a relationship, but I do prefer it to an unhappy relationship and being that I don't see a lot of happy relationships, I guess I just don't know if I care either way now because I know it's a dice roll. I also told him that I feel like there is something really wrong with the way things are nowadays. There is a disconnect somewhere.  I feel like it's partially me and it's partially society and the way things are now.  I have a hard time bonding with people now and I don't think I'm the only one out there who feels this way. 

Here are the Top 5 reasons I believe people stay single nowadays. 

1. AGE. I am a relationship girl by nature, however, I was married for a long time.  I had the wedding and bought the house and picked out paint, had the kids, did the whole thing.  I have now learned what kind of relationship I want, what I deserve, and where I made my mistakes and won't again.  I have analyzed everything.  Everything is thought out now. There isn't anything I do without knowing first what I think about it.  I am independent and I don't mind being alone if I can't have what I want, because then what's the point if you're happier by yourself?  When you have been through a lot, the bar for bull crap is a lot lower than it used to be and any guy who knocks his head on that bar and screws up, well, it's easier for me to be like "Meh, yeah, I didn't like that.  Bye!"  An amazing thing happens when you get stronger and when you realize that you don't have to deal with a nuisance....you just don't.  So that makes me realize that had I always felt this way in my younger years, I would probably never have been in a relationship that lasted longer than a year or so because relationships are hard. 
2. BEING BUSY.  I'm not high-maintenance, but I kind of am I guess.  I like my life the way I like it.  I get up, work out, pack my food, take my vitamins, run errands, I go to work, pay bills, take care of the house, I play the music I like, I hold the remote control, and I don't have to have things like football on when I am reading a book.  Add to that the fact that I have four children and friends to pay attention to and take care of, including people who live in other states that I have to call all the time to stay connected, there isn't a lot of me left.  By the time I DO get some time alone, I realize that I haven't really carved out much time for anyone new to bond with.  How can you get to know someone when you're squeezing them in between hot yoga and talking to your mother?  I mean, I totally see why people live together and get married...because if you live alone and like it, you'll never see the person because you're always busy.  
3. BLURRED LINES. Everything is blurry now.  There aren't definitive boundaries for anything anymore.  No one knows their roles because anything goes and no one knows what the hell they're doing.  I'll give you some examples.  Women are generally more independent in pretty much every way, which is awesome for us, but it has completely taken away any identity a man THOUGHT he had.  Where they used to be allowed and where they were definitely genetically predisposed to do things like hunt and protect and treat us like ladies, they aren't allowed to do so without kind of testing the waters to see what kind of woman we are and whether or not we will be offended.  However, it isn't exactly our fault that we're like this.  For me, I used to let guys do stuff and I was very traditional, but then I learned that you end up giving away your power and often wind up defenseless, so now, I would rather just do things myself rather than risk tying my hands behind my back.  I'd also rather do it myself because I can do it when I want, not wait 4 years for a guy to finally decide to do it.  (Sorry.)  Men say that they like independent girls, but I am not sold on that.  I think everyone likes to feel needed and if I come off like "I got this", well, I am going to scare men...and do.  Another way things are blurry....no one likes labels because we are a generation of commitment phobes, generally speaking.  And why the hell wouldn't we be?  Look at the divorce rate and look at what the 80's and 90's did to us.  I went through so many divorces as a child, it's a miracle that I ever got married. I know I am not the only one out there.  So when you live in a society where it is socially acceptable not to have a label, that's what happens because it's a lot easier to do so.  When someone says "Is that your boyfriend" and you say "I don't know", that's kind of a problem.  No one dates anymore, they just hang out.  People sleep together and blur the lines and say things like "I'm not allowed to be jealous because I don't know what the hell we are"......this is also a problem.  Label-less relationships are cool in theory because you get to design your life how you want it....however, it's like looking at a cat and saying it's a dog.
4. OPTIONS. It is perfectly acceptable to pretty much do what you want.  You want to be single, have a Friend with Benefits, get married....you can do whatever the hell you want.  Quite honestly, I think there are so many options and layers and everything is so blurry that when I do try to date, it confuses me so much that I end up thinking "I don't know what the hell I want."  And the fact that others can do whatever THEY want, it only complicates it, even if you're one of those lucky ones and know what you want.  Not only that, but you have Facebook, Match, Tinder.....there are so many outlets for meeting people you won't know what to do with when you find them, that you do just that....you don't know what the hell to do with any of them.  Do you talk to them, catch feelings, sleep with them, don't, make them take you on a date?  (What's that?)  And how can I bond with one guy when my phone is blowing up every five minutes from 14?  Someone pisses me off, there's just another there waiting....not that I will know what the hell to do with him.  I posted a picture the other night of me and a friend and he started laughing because my phone had a seizure.  Guys were like "What are you doing, where are you?  Who is that?"  Well the fact that the world is this way now doesn't exactly make it hard to walk away if the person you're with pisses you off or irritates you.  So many options...
5. TEXTING. Everything is impersonal.  Pick up the damn phone.  Of course, #2 complicates that statement because I rarely pick UP my phone.  It's the same damn banter, all the damn time, and you end up just being like "Meh" because your fingers are sore from texting and you're getting 10 at a time and you have ADD and you end up dull because you're spreading yourself too thin having too many conversations, meanwhile, not being able to bond with one person who may be right for you.  How would you notice, the way things are nowadays? 

On top of that, then you've got the MIA Douchebag Serial Killer to worry about too!  My oh my, have things changed since I was 23 and got married......