Flashback Friday-The Water Pitch

People get really mad at me when I say "I don't want to talk right now".  I mean, really mad.  I hear things like "You never want to talk about it" and "You always walk away" and "You always shut me out"  or "Oh, ok, walk away as always, Brittany".  I walk away for a reason....I don't like to fight.  I don't mind talking, but I don't like fighting and every time I have said "Leave me alone, I am done, I don't want to talk", and the person keeps going, I end up saying something mean and having to apologize later.  People say things they don't mean when they're emotional, or even worse, they say things they do.  It's always better to talk later after you've had a chance to analyze and think.   What's so bad about feeling this way?  If I don't want to talk, that means I don't want to talk.  If I am angry or irritated, shut up, please.  Otherwise you're provoking me.  On the flip side of this, when someone is mad at me, I tend to leave them alone. People probably think that I don't care, but it's not that...it's that I know how I am and I don't want to push someone until they're ready.  I guess that's why I write letters.  You can read it when you feel like it.  It's a passive approach, but I feel like it's respecting someone's boundaries.  

There is one girl on the planet who I have stayed in a room to fight with and that's my sister.  I adore my sister, Ashli, and because of this, she has made me absolutely crazy from time to time. I think I stay in the room to fight with her as opposed to others because I am actually willing to hear every word that comes out of her mouth.  Then I always decide it's a mistake because all I want to do is tape her mouth shut.  I actually want to take duct tape and close her mouth while she is talking because she rattles off so quickly in a fight that my brain actually feels like it's going to implode. I love you, Ash! 

So this one afternoon, like 10 years ago or so, we were fighting.  I kept calmly saying "Ash" "But" "that's not-" "I said" "Listen".  She still wouldn't be quiet.  She just kept going.  All of a sudden, I swear to God, my arm moved without my brain.  I had NO idea I was about to do it.  I had a glass of water in my right hand and without thinking, I splashed the entire glass of water in her face.   Both of our jaws dropped.  I was like "I didn't know I was going to do that!"  I waited for her to do something, but she didn't.  She just sat there, quiet, with droplets of water dripping off of her face as she stood in a puddle.  We both started laughing. It was awesome.  We learned something about me that day.....


I seriously don't like to fight.