The 10 Most Annoying Things Kids Do

1.) Leave all of the cabinets, drawers and doors open. There is a scene in The Sixth Sense...remember when the ghost opens every single cabinet? I am that mother.  I walk into a room and that's what I find, except there is no ghost to blame, only my children. I wish I could yell at a ghost because the ghost wouldn't be a smart ass. I simply don't understand why it's so difficult to close a door of any kind. It takes like a millisecond.

2.) Fight. I don't like to fight with people. This doesn't mean that I find peace in my life. It's always "Stop!!!" "Mom! He went in my room!" "Tell her to STOPPPP!" and "Get off my side!" Ok. You're 13. The crack in the car no longer counts as a real boundary. Get over it.

3.) Ask the same question over and over. When they do this to me, I look a lot like Rain Man when he doesn't get to watch Judge Wapner.  The only way to get them to stop asking the same question is to scare them and act crazy. They will go away eventually.

 4.) Rifle through your stuff like the Feds. You may as well lock up all sexual contraband with the guns because they WILL find it.  I will never forget the time I had to get off the phone with my friend, Kellie, because Logan had handcuffed Lindsey to a chair.

5.) Immediately have a crises or remember an important story.....as soon as you get on the phone. Mothers, you KNOW!  YOU KNOW!  Dads, bite me.  You just don't get it.  It's like a law of nature.
The phone is rings. 

Kids: Time to build that bomb and give Mom wedgies! 

6.) Get sticky stuff all over the door handles.  Kids are sticky in general. I love their little sticky fingers, but I don't like the doorknobs gooey.

7.) Make bizarre, loud, high-pitched noises while you're driving. This is much like the phone rule.  When in the car, it is mandatory to try as hard as possible to drive mom off the road by making squawking noises like a parrot.

8.) Publicly humiliate you. I am not talking about temper tantrums.  Those suck too.  What I mean though is that your kids will announce finding those handcuffs....errrrrr whatever you're into.

9.) Throw clean clothes in the hamper. Lindsey now does her own laundry.  She didn't believe me when I threatened her for 7 years, but now she does.  And it's amazing how many times she does this since washing her own clothes....zero!

10.) Say "Oh, I didn't hear you." How convenient that you didn't hear me tell you to take the trash out, but you heard me upstairs in my bathroom, whispering after answering my phone, which was on vibrate.  Very interesting.