Flashback Friday-Before Smart Phones

I didn't have a Smart Phone until probably 3 years ago and the cell phone I had before that was very basic and I didn't care about it.  I cared so little about my phone that most of the arguments I had with my husband were about how I never answered my phone.  I was irritated by having to carry it and I never seemed to remember to charge it.  In fact, my phone was almost always dead and somewhere at the bottom of my purse. I liked it that way.  Can you imagine that?  I have ADHD and I knew without a doubt that the cell phone was bad for me.  It made it very hard for me to pay attention and accomplish anything and because I rarely carried it, I could most definitely tell the difference in my ability to focus when I had it.

With the exception of a brief run-in with My Space a million years ago, ha, I wasn't on social media until a year and a half ago.  People used to look at me like I was a freak when I said "No, I am not on Facebook" and it didn't bother me at all....but then after a few years, it began to upset me.  I went to my 10 year reunion and had to say "I'm not on Facebook" about 37 times.  I remember feeling frustrated with myself for not just giving in and joining. More time passed and I  really started to resent Facebook, yes, I realize that this was irrational.  I would give someone I'd just met my email address or phone number and I knew as soon as I handed them over that I would more than likely never hear from them again because I wasn't able to "add" them.  I started writing blogs about hating Mark Zuckerberg and the whole lame ass society called Facebook.  I swore I would never give in.  Why did I have issues with Facebook?  I felt that it wasn't real and that this kind of socialization was unnatural.  My major was Journalism and I had taken a lot of Mass Communication and New Media classes and therefore had read a lot of studies about where we as a society were headed and how the human psyche might be affected, and honestly, I didn't want any part of it.  So what changed for me since I felt so strongly about it?

It's pretty simple, really.  If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.  And by the way, before I go further, I'm like the most chatty Facebook person ever. I love it. But continuing.....I was tired of not knowing what was going on with the people in my life.  I remember emailing pictures of my kids (there would usually never be a response because it was just one more place someone had to go for information) and calling people.  When I finally did talk to someone, they would always know 52 new things about something going on in the family that I didn't know about.  My grandpa could've had a heart attack and I felt like no one would think to inform me.  What was worse is that in the midst of my frustration and feelings of loneliness, they would say "Oh, sorry, I forgot.  You aren't on Facebook."  F U, Zuckerberg, I would think to myself.  I was completely out of the loop with my own flesh and blood.  I had become so incredibly clueless and isolated that I had no choice but to get on the bandwagon.  See, I am a social butterfly.  I love people, I love stories, I love talking, I love eye contact and chemistry.  I have always been this way and so this was really hard for me to feel like I had no clue about anything or anyone. 

I am not here to shred social media.  I think it has many benefits and I really can't attack Facebook now because I am a person who posts a lot, and I won't attack it because I appreciate the benefits of it.  I love talking to the people I had lost touch with, making new friends, and getting to know acquaintances better. Technology got me, a hundred percent.  But, it has changed me too in a lot of ways, and not for the better.  We are talking about a girl who felt so disconnected because she used to complain about her friends coming over and staring at their phones, but now maybe doesn't mind so much because she just stares at hers.  We are talking about a girl who used to cry because she never knew what was going on with her family and now slaps something on Facebook so they know she's alive and ignores incoming calls so she can be alone for 20 minutes and not have to think.  And here is the most heart breaking thing of all....At one point, I used to look my kids dead in the eye and not look away when they told me a story.  Now they sometimes grab my face with both hands, turn my head toward them, search for eye contact and say "Look, Mama.  Don't look at your phone, look at me."  I know it isn't all the time, but I am a good mother who adores her children and I absolutely cannot stand the reality that they have ever felt less important to me than anything....especially a machine. 

We are becoming antisocial, isolated, lonely, and we are getting more depressed.  No one posts about the stuff that sucks in their lives and if they do, you can't stand their drama and hide them from your Newsfeed.  Break-ups are harder because you can't get over the person due to the fact that you can't disconnect without deleting them or blocking them (which is really quite painful), work is less productive, and while we have more shallow relationships, we are taking time away from the ones that should be getting deeper.

We can most definitely enjoy technology; I am while I post this blog, and then post it to Facebook.  However, we also have to be present with the people who show up, we have to look at the world around us, and we all just need to really watch how we are choosing to spend the moments in which we are given.  They're precious and they are passing us by.  

I have already decided that I am going to start enforcing "Technology Free Sunday" in my house.  I am going to check my social media only three times a day, and anything that happens, pictures that are taken....it's all going to be posted later so I can be IN the moment rather than be distracted from what I am experiencing. I have needed to do these things for a while, but hey....I have ADHD.  I love distractions while loathing the fact that I love them.

Take a second to watch this video.  I know I have taken up enough of your time, but I promise it's worth it.  I basically gave you MY take on it, now listen to it from this English dude.  Who doesn't like a British accent?  It's moving.