Why We Should Thank J.Lo & Sir Mix-a-Lot

Disclosure: I should say first, this is geared toward women who have ever thought they are fat.  I do realize that there are women who can't put on weight or hate being too thin and this is not meant to offend the other side, or the girls who WANT a butt.  What this post is about is all of us being healthy, happy, and supportive. :)

I have only punched one person in my entire life.  Ok, twice.  Once, my drunk guy friend asked me to punch him in the face to judge the strength of my muscles, which I did, but this doesn’t count because he asked me to.  The other time, somewhere around 1997, my sister screamed at me “At least I don’t have a big butt” as I was walking away from her.  She was following me, so I turned around, having heard that insult for THE LAST time, and I clocked her right in the eye.  The funny thing about when I am truly upset is that no one sees it coming.   I am calm and don’t say a word.  That’s when I punched her.  Anyway, this resulted in a war.  She put purple hair dye in my shampoo and conditioner, and because I wasn’t an idiot and noticed that it wasn’t clear anymore, I told on her.  She then got into trouble for wasting my shampoo and conditioner, and, well, I would say I won that war. 

It’s amazing how things change due to time and social influences because if someone told me I have a big butt now, I would say “Yeah, I know, thanks” and then probably quote LMFAO and sing “I work out” instead of punching them.  My sister saying I had a big butt invoked so much anger and hurt, it physically came out, and that is so unusual for my demeanor.   Growing up, my two sisters and I called this "genetic curse" The Waggoner Butt.  We despised and bitched about it as much as humanly possible.  Now we don’t.  So when did things change?

The 90’s….a mixture of everything it seems, from music to clothes to body type.  You can look at an old 2 Live Crew album and see that the only ones who were clueless about a man’s obsession with the ass were white girls.  The heroin chic look was too extreme for us, but it still laid the ground work for some pretty ridiculous body expectations and in my experience, it hurt us.  I was one of the girls who fed into it.  Somewhere in the midst of this skinny monstrosity, white girls failed to realize that Sir Mix-a-Lot really wasn’t lying.  He really did like big butts, and thank God he didn’t deny it because one day we started to pay attention.  So enter J.Lo about 7 years later…..I remember being shocked about how guys were swooning over this humongous ass.  I certainly didn’t get it.  I had been despising my butt since the onset of puberty and all of a sudden, guys couldn’t stop talking about hers, which was even bigger than mine.  Then there were rumors about how she had insured it, which I totally didn't understand. It probably took another 5 years for me to finally stop hating my body and listen to what men were saying.  What were they saying? WE ARE NOT JUDGING YOU LIKE YOU JUDGE YOURSELVES and also, we like butts and we cannot lie.  What is it about the butt?  I don’t know.  I really don’t get why guys like asses so much, but I want to thank them because it makes my life easier.      

When I was younger, I used to eat nothing but Nutri-Grain bars and cereal and yogurt.  I really didn’t care about food, which made it easy to starve myself.  I counted calories, poked at every little piece of skin on my body, always thought I was fat, which I wasn’t, and dissected my body all the time.  It got worse when I couldn’t control anything in my life…I just didn’t eat.  It became a game, just to see how small I could get.  I stared at my butt and as my ribs would poke out, my stupid ass would still be there.  It pissed me off.  After going to the doctor and being notified that my blood pressure was 70/50, I started to realize deep down that I had some issues with myself and my body and some things in my life.  I started to deal with it, although I still wasn’t normal, even in my early twenties.  When I was in college, I called myself “accidentally anorexic” because although I had finally dealt with some of my issues, I would forget to eat out of habit and because I was busy, and although it wasn’t intentional, I was still having the same awful effects.  When you are used to not eating, you don't recognize blood sugar dives and you don't even get hunger pains anymore.  I had headaches constantly and I never had energy.  Because of this, when I graduated from college, I was about 103 pounds, white as a ghost, and NOT healthy at all.  I got pregnant with the boys that summer, and from that moment on, I have been healthy.  I eat all the time, I eat well, and if I want a cookie, I eat a damn cookie.  I haven’t ever felt better in my life. I have put on 15 pounds since weightlifting and I stay there.  I never move up or down because my body knows where it's happy.  Everyone has a healthy spot and I am there.

Women are starting to realize that strong is hot, skinny means nothing as far as health goes, and although none of us seem to want to bulk up, you eventually realize as a weightlifter that it is nearly impossible for a girl get bulky.  Developing muscles takes a lot of effort.  We know that we want to live longer, look better longer, and feel good…..we no longer think it is OK to starve ourselves and count calories.  We know that the dress size and the number on the scale aren’t what matter, because every single body is different and everyone has a healthy spot.  

What I really hope is that women will start to be kinder to each other.  I don’t expect anyone to look like me, I don’t expect to look like anyone else, and I am a cheerleader for anyone who wants to be healthy and feel good.  You will never hear be belittle a woman for her weight, and you will always hear me compliment a nice body.  Women are not jealous, but they are encouraging.  Women are not hateful, they inspire.  Little girls rip each other down….women don't.  I also hope that our daughters will be healthier and happier than we were growing up and that the examples we are setting will have a positive effect on them.   It seems that women are starting to love their curves, rather than trying to scrape every piece of flesh from their bones, and I think it’s awesome. Somewhere, at some point, there was a slight shift in the media and although we probably have a ways to go, I think we should all thank J.Lo and Baby Got Back.