What Is Love?

I have been wanting to write about this for a long time because I think it's so important; I almost did last week but I really ran out of time before Christmas.    

There are three types of love and in romantic relationships, you should have all three at some point. I think the fact that you have to have all three in ROMANTIC relationships is probably why the divorce rate is so high.  It's a gift if you have been given all three types of love from one person, and a gift to yourself if you are able to love someone in all three ways.  It's a blessing. 


1) Eros love -This is also known as "erotic love", it's very physical.  It is based on strong feelings toward another, or physical attraction. This is the romantic, butterfly, insane love that bonds a couple in the beginning of a relationship and sometimes is can change over time.  When it changes, people might say "I love you but I am not in love with you anymore".  I think that it is important and very realistic to realize that no one can feel like this forever or no one would ever go to work or be productive in any way.  During the "honeymoon" stage of relationships, people sometimes disappear because they are only interested in talking to the person they're falling for.  No one would ever get out of bed if it didn't wear off a little bit.  It can be the most deceiving kind of love and yet, it's really very important.  It's either there or it's not.  God planned this all out....it's what places people together initially. And when I say that it tends to change, I don't mean that it goes away....it's what separates your mate from others; it's sexual attraction.


2) Philos love - This is a love based on friendship between two people; it's a mental connection.  Philos is a higher type of love than Eros and therefore, couples who are friends first usually have the longest lasting relationships.  They are able to give and take, negotiate, work together, and just enjoy their time together.  It's a less selfish kind of love than Eros and yet not as high as Agape. 


3) Agape - This is unconditional love.  Agape is spiritual because only your spirit can love someone unconditionally without reason, and love as God wants you to love them.  Have you ever loved someone and you have no idea why?  If you were to use your head, you know you would feel differently, but you can't.  You love unconditionally with your heart and soul.  Your soul sees their soul.  Agape is totally selfless, where a person gives love to another person even if this act does not benefit her/him in any way. Whether the love given is returned or not, the person continues to love.  You will never love a person as close to the way God loves us as Agape.   

This is a perfect description of what Agape looks like:

I Corinthians 13:4-8 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

I know Christmas is over, but we should all try to remember what love looks like this week, and really, every day of the year.  Our days are limited here.  It should MOST DEFINITELY be spent loving others.