Flashback Friday-I was assaulted by a crab

I don't eat crab legs, I don't go to Joe's Crab Shack, and I can't imagine what I would want to do to a man if he gave me crabs.  The whole idea of a crab is creepy to me.  What are they?  Mush with a shell?  They're like a non-animal with legs and a house. Of course, I may be biased. 

When I was nine years old, I was molested by a crab at the beach.  My family and I were at Daytona Beach and although I am sure that I had been having a great time on my boogie board, building castles in the sand and frolicking with my brother and sisters, the only thing I can remember is being assaulted by a crab.  

There are little crabs at Daytona Beach that are about the size of a dime under the sand, a few feet from the water.  The tide comes up, and when it goes back, you can see little bubbles on the sand; they're hiding underneath.  Well, I didn't know what they were...I was nine.  I also picked up a jellyfish and chomped on a light bulb when I was that age.  Anyway, I was sitting down amongst the bubbles, playing in the sand, when I felt something in my bathing suit.  YEP!  It was a crab.  There was a crab in my pants.  As if it wasn't bad enough that Chester the Sea Molester had made it into my bathing suit, he had made its way into the pocketed liner of my bathing suit.  So I am freaking out, screaming, basically stripping in public, digging at my bathing suit on a crowded beach. The little bastard was wiggling around and when I got it out, I threw it, and I ran to my parents to tell them I had been violated by a crab.  

Don't act like this hasn't happened to you.