Why Ya Gotta Hate On My Cat?

I have wanted to vent about my weirdo neighbor for over a week now but I have had other things to talk about.  The day has come for me to talk about why the guy across the street sucks so much.

A little over a week ago I was pulling out of my driveway; I needed to get more milk for the boys, who were very tired and cranky.  The neighbor, we will call him Hater, signaled for me to stop and talk to him.  I stopped the car and unrolled my window.  This is sort of how the conversation went:

Hater: Your cat is becoming a problem.  Chipper likes to stand outside the window and tease my dog.  The dog barks and just goes crazy. 

Me: Oh, I am sorry.  I don’t—

Hater: Well I have to ask.  You know, I have to ask. 

Me: I guess, uh, ok, (I think I said UH like 50 times and then said something somewhat coherent.  I told him that I would try to keep him inside more and that the only reason he is out so much is that the kids open the door 50 times a day and he darts out.  I did apologize.  My cat shouldn't be over there bothering him.) 

Ok, side note…. Chipper goes outside a lot because that’s the kind of cat he is.  He isn’t like Dr. Evil’s cat that likes to be stroked all day.  His type likes to play and hunt, not lounge around and get fat.  I also know that people are typically either dog people or cat people.  I like both, but some people get very creeped out by cats and I respect that. I would probably prefer to have a dog myself.  But honestly, after I drove off, I was sort of thinking “Ok, I have four kids, two who come and go outside all day long and who already like NEVER listen to me.  How the hell am I going to keep the cat inside, realistically?”  The fact that my kids don’t listen to me isn’t the guy's fault at all, so definitely not saying that.  I also thought “Wow, that guy’s dog is a wimp” and laughed behind his back for a minute because I was irritated.  I am already stressed out and now I had to worry about one more thing.  (Not that it’s my neighbor’s fault that I have four kids and lots to do.)

I told the kids to keep the cat inside and for the next few days they did a better job, however, Chipper did get out a couple of times. 

Saturday I came home to a note on the door from Animal Control.  The piece of paper said “Nuisance cat, keep on your property”.  I was actually really irritated that it hadn’t even been a week and the guy called them, considering Chipper isn’t used to it yet and I have to completely train him to stay inside, AND train the kids.  Even though I think the guy is a weirdo, I respect his space and I had every intention of fixing it.  I told Logan and Lindsey that if they let the cat out and the guy saw him there was a chance that Animal Control would pick Chipper up and take him.  They were upset, but it made them even more careful. 

So fast forward to Tuesday…….Logan and Lindsey were talking about how Hater has gotten onto them about playing in the cul-de-sac in front of his house because the dog barks.  He also trains the dog in the front yard sometimes and when they are riding down the street on skateboards and stuff, it is apparently distracting to the dog.  He has asked them not to do that when he is training.  He yelled at Peyton for accidentally shooting a Nerf bullet into his yard and yelled at Tammy’s kid for making too much noise with his Airsoft gun. 

Awwwww HELLLLLL NOOOOOO.  Are you kidding me?  Everyone knows that I will be the first to get onto my kids if they are wrong, but I will also be the first to go ape shit if someone pulls something stupid with them.  I said “Watch your brothers; I will be back in five minutes.”

I walked across the street and rang the doorbell.  Hater answered.  I was very polite, but definitely in Smart Ass Mode and I was pissed.  I probably didn't hide it well, but I was trying.  I asked him if my kids had ever caused him problems or been in his yard and he said “No, they are very well behaved children.”  I thanked him and then I asked him about the things that the kids said.  He didn’t deny them, but he didn’t quite admit it either.   I said that they can’t be told not to play outside on a common area because his dog is barking, end of story.  I told him that dogs bark, children play, and I wasn’t going to tell my kids that they can’t play because his dog might bark.  If I can’t silence my children, why should he expect his dog to never bark?  Barking is how dogs talk.  If you don’t like it, don’t have a dog!

Then I went into the cat issue.  I asked “So, where does Chipper go when he teases your dog?”  He pointed to under the window.  He said that when he takes the dog out on the leash, the dog sees Chipper and freaks out.  I said “You know that I can’t put a cat on a leash; it would be considered animal cruelty.”  He nodded.  I told him that I was sorry that he liked his yard.  Then I asked him “Does your dog freak out about squirrels and birds too?”  He said yes.  I asked him “Do you call Animal Control on the squirrels and birds as well?”  He said “Well, no, but I shoo them away with a broom.”  I said “Well, I think that you are being ridiculous and the whole thing is bizarre.  I mean, dogs bark sometimes.  I understand that Chipper is a nuisance, but I said that I would try to keep him inside and you didn’t wait a week before calling and complaining.”  Ok, I was totally mean and I shouldn't have said that; I admit it.  Then I said that it was strange that he tried telling my kids not to play on account of his dog.  I mentioned our neighbor, Tammy, and reminded him about how her dogs used to run around and cause trouble, but I never called Animal Control.  I said “I would never do that to any of you; I would talk to you first.”  I told him that yes; he talked to me, but didn’t even wait a week to let me fix it.  I explained why it’s hard to keep the cat indoors.  I said “So what will you do if you see Chipper in your yard even one time?”  He said “I will make the call.”  I said “Wow.  Ok.  So since I can’t keep him on a leash, he will never get exercise and after one time, because I can't tell him never to go on your lawn, you will make the call and they will take him and euthanize him eventually.”  He said he didn’t think they would do that and I explained why they would.  The conversation went on a little longer and I finally got him to agree to talk to me first if he didn’t feel the situation was getting better.  I thanked him for agreeing to talk to me instead of being trigger happy with the phone. 

Chipper has been indoors for four days and although he is miserable, he is alive.  He should be inside anyway because it's the law.  I respect that, I just think my neighbor is a weirdo.  Chipper did get out once and I made the kids run after him.  They couldn’t catch him so I made them go over to let the Hater know that they accidentally let him out.  Every time they let Chipper out, they are going to have to go ring the dude’s doorbell and apologize.  We’ll see if the dog barks about doorbells as well.