Flashback Friday-Cherry Hi Ho

Do you remember this game?

I remember it.  I remember playing this game in kindergarten.  I remember nothing about what I learned in kindergarten.  I don't remember one child from my class.  I barely remember my teacher's face, but I remember this game. Why?  Because I remember throwing up on it.  I was on my stomach playing with another child (I don't remember who) when I felt funny.  I remember thinking "What is happening? This is an odd feeling."  And Bluggghhhhhh, I barfed all over the game.  I remember crying because I had thrown up and then I remember thinking that everyone would be mad at me for throwing up on the Community Hi Ho Cherry Oh.  I thought everyone was thinking Great, Brittany.  Now what are we supposed to play with???

You know, I really do sometimes take for granted the things I've learned in life.  I have learned how to tie my shoes, how to drive a car, how to send an email, how to write my long ass middle name.....this took forever, I won't lie.  I mean, my full name had 25 letters in it.  That's almost an entire alphabet that I had to learn as a child.  Look:

BRITTANY ELIZABETH WAGGONER
ABCCEFGH IJKLMNOPQ RSTUVWXY

And Z.  See?  My parents shouldn't have stopped there.  They should've named me Brittanny. 

Well I have gotten off track.  The best thing that you learn is when you're about to throw up.  Seriously.  It's something that you take for granted.  Think about it.  You can always tell when you are about to throw up and usually get to the toilet in time.

Unless you're wasted. 

The worst barfing incidents have been in my adult life....when I was drunk.  I remember two times, I was the girl at the bar who threw up at the bar.  The first time was New Year's Eve when I was 22.  My sister was yelling "Brittany!  Get up!  Now!"  And I barfed all over myself.  All over my cashmere sweater, actually.  I remember thinking it was my payback for making fun of girls who threw up in bars.  I got carried out to the cab like a carcass.  My brother had my feet, his friend had my arms, and I was shoveled into the cab while they laughed. 

The other time was last year on my birthday.  I didn't even try to get up, but at least I leaned over to hit the ground.  At least I was outside.  I remember a lady screaming at my friend.  She called her a bad friend and told her to check my pulse.  When the lady tried checking herself, she almost set my hair on fire, and the only reason I knew that is because my friend screamed at her "You're going to set her hair on fire" and smacked her hand away from me.  I wanted to yell "NOOOOO!  My hair!"  And then I wanted to yell "I'm OKAYYYY!"  But I couldn't talk.  So I guess I wasn't.

There are a few reasons why throwing up in public is one of the worst things that can happen to you.

1. You're the drunk girl puking at the bar.  You immediately deserve a crown.
2. You are probably puking on yourself and others.
3. You usually lose something in the process.  (For me, it was my shoes.  For one of my friends, it was my other friend's memory card in her camera because when we went to tend to her, a guy stole it.)
4. You stink.
5. Your hair is matted and smelley.
6. Everyone around you starts to lie and tell you that it's ok, when really you are a stinky, disgusting drunk girl in a bar.
7. No one will kiss you.
8. No one will sleep with you.
9. When you get home, you may possibly sleep in vomit. Or.........
10. Someone is seeing you naked because your clothes need to be changed.

By far, the worst thought is "I am going to feel like ass tomorrow."