Flashback Friday-I Ate a Lightbulb

Since everyone is saying this is the last day we'll be here, I figured I would tell a story that only a few people on the planet know. If we are all still here tomorrow, well then I guess you all get to laugh at me.

I had to sit through a five hour class  yesterday and I noticed that for maybe 20 seconds, I sat still.  I feel like I am crawling out of my skin trying to sit still sometimes. I can't get comfortable, I wiggle, I rub my face, roll my ankles, dig through my purse......I just move. I feel creepy crawly feelings on the inside of my skin.  This is something that I guess I neglect to notice about myself most of the time, but I realize that fidgeting has been a constant problem, pretty much for forever. If there is paper in front of me, I play with it. A pen gets clicked. Whatever is in front of me will be annihilated.  Of course, I didn't notice it myself. Someone has always pointed it out. I know it's annoying to watch TV with me because I constantly move.

So flashback to when I was nine years old. My grandma had a large dining room table that was covered with crap. By crap I mean pretty much everything she owned. Need some scissors?  Look on Grandma Waggoner's table. Christmas lights for the tree? Grandma Waggoner's table. So I remember sitting alone at this table. I don't think I was in time-out, but then again, I can't tell you why I was sitting at a table, alone. Maybe there was no reason. I know I was bored. So I picked up a lightbulb.  I was tapping the glass on my teeth, making beats. What happens, genius, when you tap glass on a hard surface, like teeth? It breaks.....in your mouth.  The entire thing shattered IN my mouth. Well of course, I thought "Oh my gosh! There is glass in my mouth! This is so not right!" But I stayed calm.

I quietly got up, careful not to move my lips or tongue or anything, and I walked to the sink.  I carefully pulled all of the little pieces of glass out of my mouth, threw them away, and never told a living soul.  I knew it was stupid and I didn't have a good reason for being so dumb.  Luckily, I didn't hurt myself.  I'm pretty sure the doctor would've told my parents that I needed to ride the short bus and to keep sharp objects away from me in case I'd feel the need to eat them.

Yep.  I know.