Church on Sunday was about conflict and why families fight. Basically, the short version is that every member wants something and is not getting it. It's okay to fight in the court room because someone wins, but no one wins a fight at home. He said that when you are in conflict, what each person is really saying is "I'm angry because I am not getting what I want". It is the truth and if you pause to realize that's the reason you are upset, it helps to put things into perspective. It gives you a slice of responsibility and you have to be nice. If everyone were nice and calmly discussed things, maybe we would work out of conflicts in a healthier manner.
I have used this to help myself and the kids this week. I have also been saying "You're just unhappy because you are not getting what you want" and it completely disables them. They pause and say "Well, yeah". I ask them not to take it out on everyone else and learn to control themselves, not everyone else.
Jenny, Kerri and I had fun with this when we left church. Someone honked at us and we mocked them and said "You're just unhappy because you aren't getting what you want!"
It works!
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