Harlem-New Politics

My daughter and I always dance when this song comes on.  I have to say though....watch the video. Does the guy look like a douche?  Or is it just me? Also, I kept expecting Sprite cans or Skittles to pop out.

Anyway, Sprite commercial or not, I kinda wanna shake it like a bad girl up in Harlem.

http://m.vevo.com/watch/new-politics/harlem-official-video/USRV81300019?playonmobile=true

Black Cat

I know that I usually do Flashback Friday, but I'm not today. Well, technically I guess I am, because this happened yesterday.

I know the cat looks evil in the picture, but it was harmless!

I was walking with my friend, Melissa, down Towne Lake Parkway. The cars were rushing by us, creating a breeze and roaring loudly. I heard a little noise. I stopped Melissa.  A tiny kitten was meowing from somewhere. I followed the noise. I searched through the tree and there he was, a little black kitty cat.  He looked so scared. I was scared of his claws even though he looked so innocent and harmless, so I pulled the branches back and Melissa pulled him out and gave him to me. He was a sweet little baby. I put him down, but he didn't know where to go. He seemed jolted by the loud noise of the cars, but he walked to the bushes, away from the road. I started to leave him. He meowed and popped out of the bush and began following me. So I picked him up and put him in the basket of Melissa's stroller. I decided that I couldn't leave him or he would get hit by a car. He hopped out of the basket further down the road and went back to the woods, leaving me again. Melissa told me he would be fine, but I kept turning around. He disappeared into the shrubs once again. Then I heard him meowing again as I walked away, so I turned around. The indecisive cat was chasing me again. He wanted me to pick him up. So what did I do? I picked him up once again.  I was carrying him down Towne Lake Parkway for a while, petting him and speaking softly to him, and trust me, I had no plan. I don't really need a cat, but the cat needed me.  The cat wanted down again. I put him down and let him walk away from me. I waited a while, making sure that I could leave him near a busy street in good conscience, and he looked like he was going to be safe in the woods. So I walked away.

I have a really hard time leaving things that may need me. Every time the cat meowed, I didn't even hesitate to turn around and pick him back up. He seemed like he wanted to be my cat, and I guess I never turn anything away. I hope he's okay and that he allows someone to take him home.

Tired but Happy

I love my freaking job.

Yep. That's all I have to say.

Top 10-Reasons I Don't Have Tattoos

I am writing a book about moms with tattoos.  It's going to be awesome if I can execute it.  I asked a bunch of mothers last week (and will continue with my research) questions about having tattoos, since I don't have any.  And you have to understand, I like them on other people and think they're cool, they just aren't for me.  There are a few reasons why:

1. Because I am boring.
2. Because I have commitment issues to inanimate objects, especially things attached to my body.  (I don't know if I can consider tattoos inanimate objects or not, but I just did.)  Tattoos are as permanent as catching an STD, except some STD's go away.  Ok, tattoos are more forever than most STD's.  Yes, I have a problem with the permanence of this.  You just watched me think out loud, by the way. 
3. This goes with Number 2....I constantly change.  What I like today, I may hate tomorrow.
4. It will wrinkle up and look like some some squashed version of whatever it is.
5. Because when people ask if I have them, I like to say something hot to cover up the fact that I am boring.  I like to say "No, no tattoos, just skin.  Just clean, white, wet, slippery skin."  Ok, I never say all of that in a sentence. 
6. It seems painful, and therefore I would probably wind up with 17 dots resembling nothing.  I would look like I had just lost in a ballpoint pen fight.
7. I always do things last.  I will probably get one when I am 95 and about to die.  Look at Facebook.  I didn't join for like 7 years and that was only once I realized that no one was interested in emailing me.
8. What if I wind up one of those addicts?  I could end up with Tiger stripes on my face and whiskers surgically embedded in my cheeks.
9. I would probably choose the equivalent of a 1999 Butterfly Tramp Stamp, because I would never get anything unique...and why?  Tats are just not for me.
10. I would regret it.  I know I would.  And if I didn't, I would be used to it and never pay attention to it, and then what is the point of getting something you ignore every day?

Should Love Be Conditional?

I have heard and I believe that solitude is a blessing, which is why on my weekends without the kids, I try to spend quite a bit of time alone. It was easy to do so this weekend, since I sprained my ankle on Saturday. I watched movies, took naps, and read books.

It really isn't natural for me to be by myself because I tend to be such a social creature, but maybe that's why it's so important for me to be alone sometimes. Maybe I tolerate noise because I am so noisy. To sit and be quiet with God, that's the moment when you hear him the most, and sometimes it's also when you feel how raw your pain is or you have to sit and deal with crap....you can't find loud enough disturbances to distract you, so you hear your fears and your hopes and what you want and don't want. And aren't these the things you should take to God? I am often driven to distraction and don't like to sit with the uncomfortableness of processing awful feelings. I have had a lot to process this year, and I think I am ready to move on. Plus, you always feel refreshed and focused when you accept this quiet time.

I finally watched "The Perks of Being a Wallflower"; good movie if you haven't seen it. Between that and a few other movies that I watched, I realize that I have found an issue that I am just not sure if I have the answer.....

One of the characters in the movie asks "Why do good people choose the wrong people to love?" And the other character says "People accept the love they think they deserve."

Ok, so I see this. I really do, but part of me wonders if it's a crock of crap. If you believe that you don't deserve any better than a person who treats you like crap, ok, then I guess you won't take anything else better even if it's in front of you.  But if that were true, then wouldn't the "crappy" person never wind up with the "good" one?  If this statement is true, then who are we talking about? Certainly we aren't calling the wrong people "Bad", right?  Doesn't everyone deserve love?  If you are with someone who treats you crappy, then are you suppressing the fact that you think you don't really deserve any better? And how do you know? Maybe it's something else.....

Here's where I am confused....I don't love to get things back, and I certainly haven't expected to be in a relationship with a person exactly like me. Isn't that the way it should be? I guess I messed up when I was younger by deciding to love the people who needed love the most. I guess I screwed up when I loved people who maybe really didn't believe that they deserved to be loved. And maybe someone would tell me that I don't think I deserve to be loved. Well, maybe I don't and I am not acknowledging this fact.  Or maybe I have felt like the kind of love I have for someone would be best used on someone who, sadly, can't treat me correctly.  I am loving and it's not conditional. If it were conditional, I would never have loved the people I have loved, because I don't feel like I have ever been treated how I have deserved to be treated. Jesus taught us to love everyone, so if you fall in love with someone you should because they are just as good as you, then aren't you loving to get back what you give? I don't understand that kind of love I guess. Which is maybe why I always love the wrong people.

I guess there are a lot of people in my life where I could say it was a waste to love them, but I won't, because I don't believe that. It's never a waste to love someone, and when you are hurt, you pick yourself up and move on.  I have learned a lesson from every person I have loved, and who cares if you don't get loved back.  You loved someone and you learned something about yourself.  I won't lie, it would be nice if I could love someone capable of loving me.

Did God make me this way, or did someone break me? I don't know.  What I do know is this....it isn't in my nature to be alone, and I really believe that it's because God made me so capable of loving, but I think right now I am supposed to love myself and my kids unconditionally.  Solitude is a blessing.  And I am listening to God.

　

　

　

　

　

　

The Transformed Eye, By Brittany Chenault

I look up to the Heavens.
What have I become?
Heart so shattered, mind so cloudy,
This day I have succumb.
Is it too late? Have I been locked out? 
I whisper one final prayer.
No, he says.  So, come with me.
Your sins I did help bear.
Like glass, your heart is glued together,
the pieces I will replace,
You will become anew and like an angel,
Love filling up the space.
All alone and in the dark,
I did not leave you be.
You wandered out, alone and fragile,
So black, you could not see.
He grabbed my hand and softly pulled,
I follow without hesitation,
The stars came out and filled my eyes,
He never had forsaken.
Why didn't I realize, Why didn't I look,
He was there within my sight,
The world, in all its distracting ways,
Drowned out all the light.
You were there among the valleys,
the hills, the waves, the breeze,
You stood there always arms stretched out,
Only a fool flutters and flees.
How could I be so blind, I say.
For always you were there.
I laugh one time at all my foolishness,
Then I feel my spirit tear.
I feel the hurt, the pain, the suffering.
I remember the tears, the ways of the earth.
And now I feel as God has felt,
Since sin had seen its birth.
My chest it pains as I see my mistakes,
I cry when I see my sin.
I cannot bear to see myself longer,
I'm worthy to be let in.
Hush, small girl. And I felt the wind.
He pulled me toward the sky,
Serenity takes my hand,
And I begin to fly.
The earth beneath me, I wave goodbye,
I feel love and see my spirit.
For I am leaving and have been forgiven,
I hope you can all hear it. 
I see my body, just a shell it was,
no longer full of life.
I do not need it anymore,
No more I'll feel the strife.
For on my face is a transformed eye,
Beautiful and true,
I've seen what you'll see one day soon,
You too will be anew.

Flashback Friday-Pink Floyd, Learning to Fly

"Learning To Fly"

Into the distance, a ribbon of black
Stretched to the point of no turning back
A flight of fancy on a windswept field
Standing alone my senses reeled
A fatal attraction is holding me fast,
How can I escape this irresistible grasp?

Can't keep my eyes from the circling skies
Tongue-tied and twisted, just an earth-bound misfit, I

Ice is forming on the tips of my wings
Unheeded warnings, I thought, I thought of everything
No navigator to find my way home
Unladened, empty and turned to stone
A soul in tension -- that's learning to fly
Condition grounded but determined to try

Can't keep my eyes from the circling skies
Tongue-tied and twisted just an earth-bound misfit, I

Above the planet on a wing and a prayer,
My grubby halo, a vapour trail in the empty air,
Across the clouds I see my shadow fly
Out of the corner of my watering eye
A dream unthreatened by the morning light
Could blow this soul right through the roof of the night

There's no sensation to compare with this
Suspended animation, a state of bliss

Can't keep my mind from the circling skies
Tongue-tied and twisted just an earth-bound misfit, I

 

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2NPk5zuMdyw