Cute Excuse

This morning Lindsey came down for breakfast and I asked her a series of did-you-do this and that questions.  Yes, yes, yes, she said.  I then asked "Did you make your bed?"  She said "Well, you know how the doctors on TV said that it's good not to make your bed every day?"  I said "Nice try, go make your bed.  She smirked.  I have to hand it to her, that one was pretty good!  She is referring to the show, "The Doctors", and yes, they did say that once in a while it's good not to make your bed so your sheets can breathe. 

Get this!  You know the family that I talked about last week, the ones who went to Italy for the break?  They brought me back two pebbles from the Coliseum!  Isn't that awesome?  They are really more like small rocks, not tiny pebbles.  The ancient Romans could have stomped on this Earth that I hold in my hands.  Isn't that cool?  I thought that it was so sweet of them!  I was so excited!

Here's the Word of the Day:

gadabout \GAD-uh-bout\, noun:

Someone who roams about in search of amusement or social activity.

Empower Me

A few days ago my brother-in-law, Matt, sent me a petition to get rid of the TSA as is and to reallocate the funding to a more effective approach.  I wrote him back and told him that although adjustments are understandable, I am totally fine with being scanned and sexually molested at the airport if it means that the TSA will find explosive devices by doing so.  I would rather be groped than blown to bits.  Seriously, I’m like “Feel away, so long as you find the bad guys!”  I asked him if that was wrong because I sense that it makes people gasp.  (Obviously, I am being a little funny, but I am also serious about merrily following along for national security.)  He asked me if I want the TSA there and I said that I didn’t know what the alternative was.  I told him that I have always believed that they are doing some good.  I said that I realize that this is perhaps a façade and may very well be my crutch for flying.  Maybe the TSA really is useless and expensive, but I don't know.  After all, it’s not like I really want some stranger feeling me up, but I will take one for the team if it means that we won’t have another 9/11.  I know that a lot of people feel like the government is overly intrusive and I guess I just tend to trust too much.  Or maybe I am too comfortable with myself?  I just don’t see why an outline of your body is that embarrassing.  Everyone was outraged by the body scanners, but everyone can see the shape of your butt in your jeans—how is a scanner any worse?  They aren’t asking for your IQ, sexual history, or income.  They’re just feeling your groin…..ok, now I am being a smart alec.  I really don't just trust everyone, even the government.  I wouldn't have gone to school to be a journalist if I really just took their word for it.  However, it makes sense to me that we would need scanners and pat downs, so I guess that's why I am thought "too trusting" in others' eyes.

Anyway, Matt told me that he has a solution.  He is going to take me to shoot pistols.  He says that I need some empowerment when it comes to safeguarding my life.  He is probably right.  He says that when you are empowered, you are no longer scared.  I totally agree.  He said that having people grope you for the sake of a security threat becomes ridiculous.  I don’t know yet. 

It does sort of bother me that I trust others to protect me in my personal life.  Maybe I shouldn’t trust people and authority so much.  Any time that someone has messed with me, someone else always does something about it…..not me.  My friend, Katie, punched a guy in the face when he pushed me.  At my bachelorette party, a guy kept coming up and dancing with me and I kept saying "please, don't dance with me.  I don't want to dance with you."  When I finally had to push him, he spit on my arm.  I stood there and stared at the spit, shocked.  I didn’t even know what to say to him at that point, it was so gross.  His spit was on my arm!  I mean, who does that???  My sister and some guy who witnessed it got the bouncer to throw him out.  Had someone spit on my family member or friend, I would have gone psycho!  Someone spits on MY arm and I sit there frozen?  I don’t get it.

What's your take on the TSA?  I'd be interested in hearing your opinions.


Here's the Word of the Day.  Read the whole thing today because you will learn something:

tchotchke \CHOCH-kuh\, noun:

A trinket; a knickknack.

I went to the Urban Dictionary because I thought that this word sounded similar to something my sister called guys when she wouldn't go out with them.  I thought that their definition was funny:

1.	Tchotchke
	A small piece of worthless crap, a decorative knick knack with little or no purpose. Side note: Chotchkie can be pretty, sentimental, or even occasionally useful though it usually breaks easily if useful. If you are having trouble identifying Tchotchke just look around your house or someone else's and whatever you see that a burgler wouldn't steal is probably Tchotchke. This is the word that my sister used, similar to Tchotchke: 1. choch The guy who wears pooka shell necklaces, has frosted tips, goes to tanning salons, and believes that he is God's gift to women. He usually ends up being gay. Ok, so having lived in Milwaukee, I now know why she used this word a lot.  I was single most of the time because there WERE a lot of these guys!  I hated them!  You go to a club in Milwaukee, this is what you find.  The cute guys in Milwaukee are at the pubs wearing t-shirts and baseball caps.  They also drink beer, not fruity drinks.....unlike at the clubs.  If a guy had an Appletine in his hand, I always ran the other way.  In the words of one of my favorite comedians, Sebastian Maniscalco, "You take that back and get a beer or something that tastes like gasoline!"

Homie Got Mad Skillz, Yo!

No, I am not sifting through Craig's List's personal ads.  My brother-in-law, Matt, sent this to me.  I told him that I may not want to post it on my blog because homeboy may hunt me down at the library and bust a cap in my ass.  Matt says he's got my back, so enjoy......

http://i.imgur.com/1t3f2.png

And what's this about "smokin' tree"?  What is he talking about?  Weed doesn't come from a tree.  Is he smoking Pine Trees or something?  "Yo, shawty!  Come ova to my phat crib so we can smoke perennials and eat some foliage!  Bring da OJ!"  Kids these days.  Next thing we know they'll be rolling Kudzu joints.

But seriously? Can this be real? Is this due to Lil Wayne or something? Here I go, blaming the mainstream media. Don't drink the Kool-Aid, kids! Don't drink the Kool-Aid! 

Here's the Word of the Day:

re·pug·nant

1.

distasteful, objectionable, or offensive: a repugnant smell.

2.

making opposition; averse.

3.

opposed or contrary, as in nature or character.

The Window Bank

I took this picture a few weeks ago and never posted it.  I have a bowl of change on my dresser. Carson and Dylan love to get it down and stick each coin into Logan's bank.  Once they finish, they dump it out and start over.  Money is about the filthiest thing that you can touch, so I have to say that I am not crazy about this game, but they only do it once in a while and I stand there armed and ready with a bottle of hand sanitizer.  My mom said that people at church used to give me change to play with when I was a baby.  She said that I choked on so many nickels that she couldn't count.  Apparently she wouldn't know that some old lady had slipped me a quarter and I would just start choking and turning blue.  When I heard that story I thought WHY in the WORLD would you give children money to play with?  It’s now apparent to me that these people had experienced children who didn’t eat everything that they touched.  I didn’t know such children existed after having Logan and Lindsey.  Logan found a dime on the floorboard of the car when he was three.  He swallowed it and started choking in the Chick-fil-a parking lot. Don freed his airway as I stood frozen and panicked.  Logan and Lindsey put everything into their mouths.  I swear, Carson and Dylan never put anything in their mouths that isn’t obviously edible.....or their pacifier—they never have.  I find this to be unusual, but a blessing.  A lot of the baby-proofing that I did for Carson and Dylan turned out to be superfluous, but you would have done the same if you had experienced Logan as a small child.   I didn't know that the boys would be so good and have such a strong understanding of “no”, “yucky”, and “dangerous” at such a young age, because Logan never grasped it.  Carson and Dylan also don't pick their noses like most kids.  If they ever need their noses wiped they say "tissue?"  They also say “yucky” and squish their faces to show that they find something gross.  They know that it's nasty to pick their nose or touch their snot or do anything disgusting like that—they always have.  Thank God for that, because it is so gross.  It’s totally normal behavior and I don't fault a child with a finger up his nose, but it’s still gross. 

This reminds me of another story…..Dylan was blowing bubbles with some kids at cheerleading practice last week.  He started to drink the bubbles!  He stopped as soon as he tasted it.  It was funny.

Anyway, I thought that I should post this picture.  As time passes you tend to forget details about your children and I am using this blog as a way to document for mine.  The night that they were stuffing change into the window sill was one of those nights that we had exhausted all other forms of entertainment and I wouldn’t have cared if they were hanging from the chandelier.  The coins are still there, by the way.  They couldn't get them back out. 

Here's the Word of the Day:

irrefragable \ih-REF-ruh-guh-buhl\, adjective:

Impossible to refute; incontestable; undeniable; as, an irrefragable argument; irrefragable evidence.

It's Officially Fall!

Today is Ashli and Tyson's 29th birthday!  Happy birthday, Ash and Ty!  Your big sister loves you and wishes she could be with you to celebrate your LAST 20-something birthday!  I hope that you guys have a great day and eat lots of cake!  I posted a picture of your beautiful, screaming faces below.  

Ash, Britt and Ty

Not only is it my brother and sister's birthday, but today is the first day of fall.  Spring and fall are definitely my favorite seasons.  I hate the fact that I am allergic to all things blooming during the two, but I love the changing colors and nice, cool temperatures.  I love getting out fluffy sweatshirts, I love taking walks, I love the holidays.  One thing that I really hated about living in Florida is that nothing ever changed.  It was green all year.  Don't get me wrong, I still hate being cold and I complain constantly about freezing temperatures, but I like sweatshirt weather.  Georgia's summers have been so awful for the past two or three years that you can't even go outside, so for the first time in my life I have begun to hate summer weather and look forward to fall.  Not only has the heat and humidity been unbearable in the summer, but we haven't actually had a fall or spring for at least a couple of years.  It's winter, and then it'll feel like spring for a week and then BAM!  It's summer.  It's 95 degrees until November and them BAM!  It's winter and we are snowed in and the kids are sledding down the street.  It's bizarre.  I'm excited because I think that we are actually going to have a fall this year because it has been cooling off a bit.  Also, Chris Farley, our furry fat squirrel friend in the attic, has been scratching around for at least a month. If you recall, we never shot him or set up a trap, so he's still up there, getting fat and thumping around.  Maybe he knows something that I don't and he is preparing for a cold winter?

By the way, why aren’t the seasons given the respect of being considered proper nouns?  I think that winter, spring, summer and fall should be treated as people and capitalized.  It doesn’t make sense to me that they are not capitalized.  I have respect for grammar and the English language, sometimes to others’ detriment, but I have to disagree about this one.  When you are referring to a season, I think it should be capitalized!  Of course, I will follow the stupid rule like I always try to do, but it doesn’t make sense.  Also, why does fall get two names?  Is autumn greedy or something?  Why don't the other seasons get two names as well?  If I had to give the other seasons names I would name summer Hot as Hell,  winter, Cold, Dead, and Boring,  and spring, Phantom of the Season.  (Of course, those are all perfect for Georgia.)  My niece, Amelie, calls the seasons Leaves Falling, Snow Falling, Sprinkle Time.  I don't know what she calls summer.

Just a side note, Logan has been calling me "The Grammar Police" and he is intentionally saying things incorrectly, just to irritate me.  He said that he was going to start saying "vanilla woffers" instead of "wafers" and I told him that he'd sound like a weirdo.  He calls me OCD and mocks me with a high voice.  He says "No!  It has to be like this, not that, with a little bow on it!  Everything has to be this way, all organized and pretty!  And you can't say it like that, that's grammatically incorrect!  Blah blah blah!"  Can you believe that kid?  It reminded me of the time that he came home with Lindsey  from Pre-K and said that a kid had said the "A" word.  They were both upset that someone had cussed at school; it was a big, dramatic situation.  After some prying, I couldn't figure out what they were talking about because it was clear that it wasn't "ass", so I gave them permission to say the word.  They said "Mommy, he said AIN'T!"  I wanted to explode into laughter, but I couldn't because at one point I had said to them "If I ever catch you saying that word, I will be very upset!  Don't ever let me hear you say 'ain't' because it is not a word!"   I did clear it up.  I explained that it wasn't a swear word, but that it wasn't a proper word.  I'll never forget what their precious little, squishy faces looked like as they learned about slang.  Logan is still cute, but he is such a smart alec!  I wonder where he gets that from.

I thought that I would post some pretty fall pictures.  These were probably taken in Maryland.   Maryland has the most beautiful fall. 

Here's the Word of the Day:

rap·ine

the violent seizure and carrying off of another's property; plunder.

Pretty Girls

Yesterday we made a list of things to do on a rainy day because the weather forecast for this week has been awful.  We came up with the following:

1. Write letters of appreciation to soldiers
2. Write thank you notes and make cookies for the local the firemen
3. Treasure Hunt
4. Play Twister
5. Have a tea party
6. Play charades
7. Put on a play

Instead of doing these things, Grant and Logan played Playstation, the baby boys played with cars, and Hanna, Lindsey and Finley put on costumes.  I curled the girls' hair and put blush and lipstick on them.  Here are some pictures of the beautiful girls:

Me and Carson, just for kicks

By the way, Hanna and Lindsey DID end up making cards for the firemen down the street.  When we dropped them off, the firemen asked the kids if they wanted to see the firetruck.  They took them on the truck, showed them around, even gave them fireman hats.  It was so cool and the kids loved it.  We got ice-cream afterward.

By the way, did you know that ice-cream is not supposed to be hyphenated anymore?  It is just two separate words now.  Well I refuse!  That looks bizarre and I hate it!  Ice cream should be ice-cream.  If you look it up it says "formerly and properly known as ice-cream." Well, I am sticking to what works.  What is that monstrosity???

Here's the Word of the Day:

bour·geois

1.

a member of the middle class.

2.

a person whose political, economic, and social opinions are believed to be determined mainly by concern for property values and conventional respectability.

3.

a shopkeeper or merchant.

Pan Am

ABC is airing a new show next Sunday called "Pan Am" and I am so excited to watch it!  I love this era.....when girls were girly and didn't have equal rights.  I'm totally kidding......I just like the fashion and red lips.

http://abc.go.com/watch/clip/pan-am/SH014194950000/PL55126738/VD55142987/behind-the-style-and-glamour-of-pan-am/behind-the-scenes?cid=email_091811_bestof2

By the way, for those of you who follow Lindsey's blog, she posted last night if you want to read it.

Here's the Word of the Day:

phi·lan·der

intr.v. phi·lan·dered, phi·lan·der·ing, phi·lan·ders

1. To carry on a sexual affair, especially an extramarital affair, with a woman one cannot or does not intend to marry. Used of a man.

2. To engage in many love affairs, especially with a frivolous or casual attitude. Used of a man.